Time

It's been a while since I've been able to write.  Even now I am questioning why I am doing this.  I don't want to do anything for the holidays this year.  I know it is the grief of losing Eva that is speaking and not myself.  That spirit is just squashed right now.  I try to pick it up, but it will take more than just trying to help me out of this funk.  My sister and my nieces and myself, we are supporting each other as best as we can.  I am grateful I have them to talk to. The only comfort there is lies in the knowledge that our Almighty God in His sovereign knowledge has done what He has done out of compassion and love.  Little Eva is no longer in pain.  I thank God for the time I had with her, I just really miss her.  Holidays, birthdays, won't be the same without her.  I am her aunt and I feel so lost and heavy trying to come to terms with the loss, I can't imagine what I would do if I were her mother.  Janelle is really brave.  I don't think I would be able to put one foot in front of the other.  I just pray God is with Janelle, walking through the process with her and Janelle never lets go of His hand.  I know He won't let go of hers.