Time

It's been a while since I've been able to write.  Even now I am questioning why I am doing this.  I don't want to do anything for the holidays this year.  I know it is the grief of losing Eva that is speaking and not myself.  That spirit is just squashed right now.  I try to pick it up, but it will take more than just trying to help me out of this funk.  My sister and my nieces and myself, we are supporting each other as best as we can.  I am grateful I have them to talk to. The only comfort there is lies in the knowledge that our Almighty God in His sovereign knowledge has done what He has done out of compassion and love.  Little Eva is no longer in pain.  I thank God for the time I had with her, I just really miss her.  Holidays, birthdays, won't be the same without her.  I am her aunt and I feel so lost and heavy trying to come to terms with the loss, I can't imagine what I would do if I were her mother.  Janelle is really brave.  I don't think I would be able to put one foot in front of the other.  I just pray God is with Janelle, walking through the process with her and Janelle never lets go of His hand.  I know He won't let go of hers.

For Eva

I've been thinking about you for quite some time
thinking about the time we had together,
the times we shared and wonder if you knew me then
or if you know me more now that you are gone....

I've been thinking about the the things your mother told me
thinking about how you suffered, about your pain.
knowing all you went through is gone,
you are whole and only the good remains.

I've been thinking about you, almost every minute
and some times are good and I smile and laugh
and then sometimes I just cry - I want you back.
I've been thinking about the things you had a chance to do
but thinking more of what you brought to my life.

In just 3 short years, (you almost made it to 4),
you brought light into the shadows
and pulled a life out of the the dark;
you brought joy every where,
took the anger out of separation
poured love into so many lives.

Joy untold,
memories in photographs that we all share
and behold, now you are God's little angel,
on earth for just awhile.

Now that you are gone
memories are what we have left,
we do our best to keep love safe
and hold onto your smile.

(c) 2011 Ria Sanacore

A Different Kind of Storm

On October 31, 2011, my grand niece, Eva Rose, age 3, passed away in her sleep.  I cannot express my feelings of sorrow, pain and grief at the loss of this precious, tiny dancer.  I join together with all who loved Eva to express my sympathies to Eva's Mother, my niece Janelle, and to Eva's Grandmother, my sister, Gina, and to our family and friends who loved Eva Rose.  I have no words to express comfort to everyone, so I will borrow from the Word of our Healer, Jehovah Rapha:

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)

The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces. (Isaiah 25:8)

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:3)

Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows. (Isaiah 53:4)

My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. (Psalm 119:28)

Death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart. (Ecclesiastes 7:2)

I thank God for His word and promises.  I don't know where I would be without Him. 

He is my shelter in the storm, rest in strife, calm in the fury, cover in the rain. 

Comfort is knowing God's love and Jesus's love for children and that Eva is with Him tonight. 

Holy, Holy, Holy is our Lord God Almighty, Most High God.  The God who fills the universe, He cares for all of us.

Rest, little Eva.  You are no longer in pain. I thank God for the time we had together.  Your life was short, but full and you were full of love.  Thank you, Abba.  Thank you, Jesus.

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Dance with Jesus, Eva Rose.