Eva Rose

It has only been 2 months since you left us.  I know that you are happy in heaven but the loss hangs so heavy on my heart.  The day you left seems like an eternity and yet at times it seems like only yesterday.  I am sorry you are gone.  I am not sorry that you are no longer in pain.  I am sorry for your mother who misses you so. I cannot even imagine her pain.  You grew inside of her, clung to her, looked to her, laughed with her, brought your hurts to her.  She lived and breathed you, built her life around you, thought of her future through your eyes.  Janelle loved you so, and had plans for you.  She wondered in her heart where you could go.  Recently she started to wonder aloud, too.  She was looking into schools for your future, even though you were only 3, she looked forward, forward to a life with you.  Your mom set up the house around your needs, set her life around your needs, scheduled her comings and goings around you.  And, no, she didn't mind.  She considered it an honor to be your mother.  But you know all of this, how much she loved you, how much she understood you, the delight she took in your milestones.  And now, how much she misses you.
 I do too!  I wanted to see you at Christmas.  I wanted to shop for you, buy you things, run out to the ice cream truck with you and watch you make your choice, just like I did with your mother.  I wanted to spoil you, hold you, laugh with you, hug you, applaud your heroic giant steps into your life, sing to you, play with you, read to you, watch you grow into a young woman.  Oh, but I wanted to see you be all that you could be.  But, what if all you could be was the angel who taught us to love, reminded us of the value of unconditional love; what if that is who you are and now you are the angel you were born to be, but now not on earth, you smile down from heaven.
Who am I to question, who am I to try to know, who am I to try to stop you, who am I to rage against a Sovereign God's wisdom, who am I to be angry and selfish, who am I to grieve.... when you are in His hands.  Who am I to question who He is and His wisdom.  Who am I but just someone who loves you and misses you so.  I rejoice in the time we had together and I am so thankful to your mother for sharing time with me, letting me get to know you.  What a gift she shared with me.  I will always be grateful to Janelle for  her generosity and insights.  I cherish every memory and every moment we had together.  I love you today as I did when you were here.  I pray that your mother finds the comfort and peace she needs and knows that she has done everything that there ever could be done for you and lifts her head up to the heavens to receive the blessings from God that are hers.  Shine on, my little star.  Angel unawares. Dance, tiny dancer, dance on.

What an awesome season and the reason for the season, that would conspire to bring joy to the whole world. 

Merry Christmas.  May the peace of Christ Jesus shine in your life. 

Who

You see my every move,
even out of the corner of Your eye,
You can cast about the universe,
and where ever I am, whatever the time,
however I may try to hide,
You see all I do
yet you love me still.

The thought of meeting
You face to face
stops me in my tracks.
What would I say, where could I hide,
You know even my thoughts I haven't expressed
You know the hurts inside,
the joys I haven't earned.

You know my dreams, you know my faults;
my failures you forgive
my triumphs are yours
I have nothing to bring
my praises seem so small;
When I look to heavens and see
that you have created it all.
The skies, the stars the moon
and below, the oceans and reefs
the mountains so strong
the sand, each grain, staying in its place
is all by your command.

Each sunrise and sunset is cued by your mighty Hand
every season is ordered and every snowflake is by your design.
I am amazed by who You are and all that you do, the power that exists
in even one finger of your hand
yet You love me still
and hear my cries
You answer my prayers
and forgive my debts and
lift me up out of mires
When all I have to offer you is my emptiness,
You, oh my Lord and God,
even fill that up with your wonderous mercy and grace.
You are my God and I am your sheep.
Lead me, please God, all of my days,
that I might rest in Your dwelling place.

Birthday Thoughts for Eva

Eva Rose, child of God, daughter of Janelle, precious little one on loan for just a while, now gone from this earth, but heaven bound.  Yesterday would have been your 4th birthday.  I miss you dearly.  I had planned on buying you gifts and being there with you to celebrate the day with you and your family.  But now I am forced to think about the gift you have been to us and celebrate the fact that we had you here with us, to touch our hearts, teach us and help us grow in ways we could never imagine.  I feel tears in my eyes, but they are less from sadness at the loss of you here and more in wonder of the grace of our Soveriegn God who hears our prayers, listens and brings us to Him and knowing that you are with Him.   December 4, 2011

Eva Rose

December 10, 2011

Eva Rose, child of God,
daughter of Janelle,
precious little one on loan for a while,
now gone from this earth, heaven bound. 
Yesterday would have been your 4th birthday. 
I miss you dearly.  I had plans of being there with you
to celebrate the day with you and your family.
But now I am forced to think about the gift you have been to us
and celebrate the fact that we had you here with us,
how you touched our hearts, taught us and helped
us grow in ways we could never imagine. 
I feel tears in my eyes, but they are less from sadness at the loss of you
here and more in wonder of the grace of our Soveriegn God who hears our prayers,
listens and brings us to Him.

Time

It's been a while since I've been able to write.  Even now I am questioning why I am doing this.  I don't want to do anything for the holidays this year.  I know it is the grief of losing Eva that is speaking and not myself.  That spirit is just squashed right now.  I try to pick it up, but it will take more than just trying to help me out of this funk.  My sister and my nieces and myself, we are supporting each other as best as we can.  I am grateful I have them to talk to. The only comfort there is lies in the knowledge that our Almighty God in His sovereign knowledge has done what He has done out of compassion and love.  Little Eva is no longer in pain.  I thank God for the time I had with her, I just really miss her.  Holidays, birthdays, won't be the same without her.  I am her aunt and I feel so lost and heavy trying to come to terms with the loss, I can't imagine what I would do if I were her mother.  Janelle is really brave.  I don't think I would be able to put one foot in front of the other.  I just pray God is with Janelle, walking through the process with her and Janelle never lets go of His hand.  I know He won't let go of hers.

For Eva

I've been thinking about you for quite some time
thinking about the time we had together,
the times we shared and wonder if you knew me then
or if you know me more now that you are gone....

I've been thinking about the the things your mother told me
thinking about how you suffered, about your pain.
knowing all you went through is gone,
you are whole and only the good remains.

I've been thinking about you, almost every minute
and some times are good and I smile and laugh
and then sometimes I just cry - I want you back.
I've been thinking about the things you had a chance to do
but thinking more of what you brought to my life.

In just 3 short years, (you almost made it to 4),
you brought light into the shadows
and pulled a life out of the the dark;
you brought joy every where,
took the anger out of separation
poured love into so many lives.

Joy untold,
memories in photographs that we all share
and behold, now you are God's little angel,
on earth for just awhile.

Now that you are gone
memories are what we have left,
we do our best to keep love safe
and hold onto your smile.

(c) 2011 Ria Sanacore

A Different Kind of Storm

On October 31, 2011, my grand niece, Eva Rose, age 3, passed away in her sleep.  I cannot express my feelings of sorrow, pain and grief at the loss of this precious, tiny dancer.  I join together with all who loved Eva to express my sympathies to Eva's Mother, my niece Janelle, and to Eva's Grandmother, my sister, Gina, and to our family and friends who loved Eva Rose.  I have no words to express comfort to everyone, so I will borrow from the Word of our Healer, Jehovah Rapha:

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)

The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces. (Isaiah 25:8)

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:3)

Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows. (Isaiah 53:4)

My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. (Psalm 119:28)

Death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart. (Ecclesiastes 7:2)

I thank God for His word and promises.  I don't know where I would be without Him. 

He is my shelter in the storm, rest in strife, calm in the fury, cover in the rain. 

Comfort is knowing God's love and Jesus's love for children and that Eva is with Him tonight. 

Holy, Holy, Holy is our Lord God Almighty, Most High God.  The God who fills the universe, He cares for all of us.

Rest, little Eva.  You are no longer in pain. I thank God for the time we had together.  Your life was short, but full and you were full of love.  Thank you, Abba.  Thank you, Jesus.

http://www.lombardofuneralhome.com/sitemaker/memsol.cgi?page=documents&user_id=501351&MAIN_EVENT=MEMSOL&SUB_EVENT=VIEW_GUESTBOOK#.TrGhvfO_Y_w.facebook

Dance with Jesus, Eva Rose. 

October Storm

The lilac bush bent in surprise at the snow, but not as surprised as the cherry trees whose greenery waved strong in the wind.   The oaks swayed and branches snapped off of the firs under the weight of the snow.  Our season's first Nor'Easter. 

Kept safe through the storm,

with love,

From God.



Dreams Fulfilled

Don't wait until you have the time to do what you really want to do;
do what you want to do and you will have the time to do it.
 

He

He

loves me

as I am ........

nothing

with nothing to give
but what He gives me.

He gave Himself
for me,
He for
    gave me

He lived so
I won't die
He died
so I could live

He suffered
so I would not

He bore my pain
He bore my shame
He called me home
and walks beside me

i
who am nothing
have been given all
because
He
gave His all.

I
who have nothing to give
He
died and arose
so I could live

He gave His all
so I could have
what I could not
get myself

Before I knew Him
He knew me
Before I loved Him
He loved me.

Before I was,
He knew my name
He called me out,
when I knew not where I was

He called me His
when I knew Him not,
He loved me then
He loves me now

I am not perfect
I am just ........

His.

Social Network

The participants of the social media publish their statements and complain about everything they can, anticipating their audience to understand that they are witty, funny and have a snobs intelligence; if you don't agree with them, and jump on their bandwagon, then you just don't get it, and you are sub-intelligent.  Almost every status is a quip, a quote or an adulteration of someone else's thoughts. But mostly, these status statements are complaints.  I have begun to "unfriend" the complainers, and strangely enough, after listening to their rants, I have become very much aware of my own attitude, and watch what I say, because, truthfully, I have a lot to be grateful for.  I am sure they do also, but they don't see it. 
Life is not a list of complaints, but a series of events that we should be grateful for.  Look at the Israelites.  For everything God did for them, they still complained, feared, turned from Him.  We have not changed much from that time.  Not at all.  It is our humanness that confounds us.  The more we think we 'have' it, the less we understand.  I am just glad God doesn't "unfriend" us, although I guess He kind of did that when He sent the snakes to bite the Israelites, when He dropped the fire on Sodom and Gomorrah, flooded out the earth and foretells of one big 'UNFRIEND" in Revelations.  But right now, we have every chance to be His friend.  He never lets go.  He loves us.  He was the first tweeter, the first blogger, the first Internet.  I just want to put Him first, more and more. 

Thank you to "Positive Inspirational Quotes".

Thanks to "Risky Betts Comedians Photos".

The first Internet....... Love from God. 

The News

The horrible things people do to each other
in
an attempt to survive the catastrophes
they
set in motion in their own lives;
the horrible things people do
to obtain
the things
they want to own
that will do nothing
for them
and
will stay behind
when they leave this earth.

(c) Ria Sanacore

Seasons of the Heart

Genesis 8:22
"While the earth remains,
Seedtime and harvest,
And cold and heat,
And summer and winter,
And day and night
Shall not cease."

He created it all.  What an Awesome God.  Selah.

Contentment

Philippians 4:11

11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to 4be abased, and I know how to 5abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things uthrough 6Christ who strengthens me.

From The Book of Joshua

Joshua 1:7
"Only be strong and very courageous; be careful to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, so that you may have success wherever you go."

AMAZING GOD

How did You do that?  How did You know?  I look at all of the birds and I am in wonder as I watch their little bodies flutter around, how they land, when and where they feed, what they feed on in which season how they fly away and find their way back again. 

I am so amazed by all You have done.  Even the whales, as large as they are, can float through the air with grace and joy.   But not just one whale, so many different breeds!  I am amazed every time I turn around.
With every thing I see.....

 Every thing I see You do amazes me.   Every minute of every hour of every day.  All day long.
Like a prayer.

Holding on by a thread
believing still
flat on my face
thankful for all
that I have
the joy of the Lord
is my strength

It is hardest to write when waiting,feeling like nothing is happening and all the while my heart breaks with the silence.   This is the time when I cannot form a thought, put pen to paper even as much as I want to tell what is going on inside of me, this is the time I can say the least, when I need to speak the most. 

There are so many things that happen to us in life that rob us of our childlike faith.  I need to be still and wait by the stream for faith that I had as a child to fill me again.  Be still and know He is God.  

Two Wolves

Two Wolves..... Which one will you let win? 

http://www.flickspire.com/m/Jumpstart2/TwoWolves

When in Need of God's Prescence

In every moment of every day God is by your side, ready to help,

guide, and protect you. Seek Him, and you will find Him.

WHATEVER YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES, be sure that God watches

over you. Because He loves you, and since God Himself is love,

you can be condent that you are never out of His sight, nor His

loving concern.

How can you make yourself believe this? First, repeat it to

yourself. Repetition is a powerful method of persuading the mind

to accept a truth. Epictetus called it the most classical of all

studies. It brings about acceptance.

Thank God constantly for watching over you and protecting

you. After every journey, thank Him for His protecting care. In

every di-cult situation, thank Him for seeing you through.

Visualize your loved ones as always being protected by the

everlasting arms, and supported by the great hand of God. In this

way, you will be sending out protecting and guiding thoughts

that God will use for their protection. Help God to protect your

loved ones and yourself.

A technique is to commit to memory many of the

following Bible passages that deal with the protective love of

God. Every day, repeat them to yourself, meditating upon them

with gratitude.

The Lord is nigh unto all them that call upon Him, to all that call

upon Him in truth.

(Psalm145:18)

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own

understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall

direct thy paths.

(Proverbs 3:5,6)

In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do

unto me.

(Psalm 56:11)

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that

He may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon Him; for

He careth for you.

(I Peter 5:6,7)

If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost

parts of the sea; Even there shall Thy hand lead me, and Thy right

hand shall hold me.

(Psalm 139:9,10)

Excerpted from

Copyright © 1968, 1989 by Peale Center for Christian Living.

Fatih Builders by Norman Vincent Peale.

In every moment

of every day God

is by your side,

ready to help,

guide, and protect

you. Seek Him,

and you will find

Him.

And Still I Believe

The most amazing thing I've ever seen is the thing I have yet to see.....

Believe

Believe until you believe.

And happily ever after................

One Card Deck

You might think that you were dealt only one card to play in life and never look for the rest of the deck.  Or maybe you're afraid that if you put that one card down, you'll have lost altogether.  But trust; put that card aside for a moment and find the other 51; life is too short to limit yourself.  Grab ahold of it, run with it, have fun with it, enjoy every moment. Look for all of the Ace's, the Kings and the Queens; toss out the Jacks that hurt.  Don't hold out, move to the future, be joyous with what you have, remember your past, forget the bad.  Keep moving forward.  Be grateful for all you have.  Start each day with praise and end each day with thanks.  Have faith, believe in your Creator.   Reach up;  reach to others.  Have the joy you were intended to have and above all;  Love.  Just breath and love.

Remember

The storm may be raging
water rising on all sides,
thunder and lightning on the horizon
dark clouds behind you
no one beside you;

when all is lost
when you are sitting up nights,

counting the cost

when sleep won't come

and you feel there is no one;

when you wake up in fright

and your breath won't come

when even in church worship the oppressions run through you

then

Remember

Who walked on water

and calmed the storm

Who fasted 40 days and nights to have the strength for us

Who turned water into wine

and gave eyesight to the blind
Who suffered His birth
Who lived on earth
that we might live in heaven
Who died on an instrument made by man
so that we would be saved;
Who loved us enough to allow His torturous death
Who prayed;
Who wept;
Who suffered
and died while His Mother watched and cried
Who gladly gave up all He was in a kingdom away
so that we could become His daughters and sons
Who loved us more than His own life;

Who for us gave His last drop of blood,

Who is coming back to bring us home 

Who sent His angels to be our guards;

Whose arms are opened wide,

Know that we are the reason He died;

any doubts that you hear are lies;

God is love;

His Son, the Light

His Spirit is peace;

have Faith not Fear

Know that He cares
and while you wait for the answer from above
have peace in His great love;

and that
when that dark cold voice
pulls you under in despair
know that in the end,
Satan
doesn't
have
a prayer. 

(c) Ria Sanacore April 2011

Time Turn Around

This is the hardest thing I have ever done, ever known.  I will know the outcome by the end of the week.  I can only pray.

April at last

Enough about the weather.  It is spring.  I think. 

Snow, Snow and more Snow

It snowed again last night.  And, it stuck.  And, it is still there.
Still, better than what is happening around the rest of the world. 
March 11, 2011, Japan: Earthquake and Tsunami.  Now the unstable nuclear reactor.
The insanity in the Middle East; the gas prices, the price of food, ugh. 
Without my faith, I don't know what I would do.

Talent and more talent

Last night I was at the Piano Bar in Bloomfield New Jersey for Cabaret Performance at Pianos' Bar and Grille, basically to see my very talented niece sing, but I really enjoyed all of the participant's singing.  Each performer was fantastic, but, call me prejudiced, my niece Ariel was the best.
More to come, I am sure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiD4vWg_hoQ&feature=player_detailpage

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSTW7JWFMyE&feature=player_profilepage

and from a year of so ago:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxXKyovBrV8&feature=player_detailpage

Last night was the super moon; the "cold hearted orb" and it did rule the night.  Absolutely beautiful.   Yes, we made it through the winter and a very long, cold, snowy, treacherous winter it was.  Driving was a challenge.  Then today, the Equinox.   A beautiful spring day, although it didn't get over 50 degrees. 
On another note, things are coming to a head.  I have to do something, but what, I just don't know. 
March 21, 2011

Yesterday was so beautiful, and today, more SNOW!   Really?   Now Wednesday is supposed to bring more of the white stuff, with tomorrow being in the upper 50's.   I hate to complain, but really?  Seriously, I am so in need of warm weather.   On a happy note, the days are light longer and the river has started to recede. 
Did I mention the fog?  Thick, pea soup fog.  At my neighbor's house it looks luminescent green, too!

A Rant on Daylight Savings Time and then one

They really ought to leave daylight savings time alone.  Hawaii does quite well without it and so could I, and all of the babies and sleep deprived mothers.  Enough is enough.  God is the creator of all time and He really doesn't need the bureaucracy's help.  For that matter, neither do I.   After running around and changing all of my appliances and clocks and watches, I remembered that some of them don't want my help.  Great.  So then I had to go back and change them again. I am convinced that it won't matter if I just make a mental note of the real hour and just look at the time and jump my mind ahead.  Then I wouldn't need to change all of the clocks in the house, the car, the appliances, timers, outside..... and then change them back after a few months, of course, not remembering how each appliance needs to be changed.  Enough.  Leave time alone.  So what if the kids are scared standing in the dark waiting for the bus.  It is only a short time.  Not even the animals like the changing times.  So, stop.  Leave it alone. 

Creation Calls -- are you listening? Music by Brian Doerksen

Did you see the sky tonight?  I can't remember when the night was so clear.  A ten cent moon over a three quarter town!  There was a planet glowing directly below the sliver of the moon and I saw the constellations so clear, the Diper, Orion, so many more, some I forgot but recognized.  God is in control.  He lights up the night. 

Technology has evolved to a place where one would think that with all there is to offer we could find happiness; we have so many choices for phones, computers, cars, games, but the opposite is true.  Everywhere I look I see so many unhappy people, so many angry people, so many impatient people, even with all that we have at our fingertips, all the electronics, the instant messaging, the Social Networks keeping us in touch with family and friends, the media and political promises for our future, the sports toys, express traffic lanes, On Demand television: with everything that we have there still remains the feeling and harboring of discontent.  Well, then, I suppose the old adage " Money can't buy you happiness" is true.  We may not want to believe it and can agrue that money can be a vehicle to happiness, a platform, can help make one content; there are probably a lot of arguements you can come up with to disprove the saying and I am sure I can find some reasonable arguements too.   But really, all money can buy you is time before you realize you aren't happy; look at the Charlie Sheen melt-downs and the Lindsy Lohan saga. Money can't buy you love or peace, or joy; those feelings have to come from within.  You can't have peace or joy without knowing the true meaning of love, which is where having a relationship with God, our Creator, comes in.  Without God in the picture, life is abstract, there is no clear path.  I won't say that with God in your life, everything is sunshine and roses, but there is a path, a Way, the Truth and there is light.   And Hope.  Hope that shines eternal.  There is love, a love that you have never known before; a love that will never leave you or forsake you.   A love that will be with you all the way down the path and up again.  A love that will carry you when the Way becomes too hard.  He'll even provide a resting place.  Have no clue how to get there?  Call 1-800-NeedHim.

Snow, Snow, and Rain, Rain

More snow and rain.  The riverbanks are high now.  The melting of the ice and snow in the last few days have pushed the river banks close to road levels.  I don't know how much more the rivers can hold,  especially when the mountain snow hasn't melted yet.  And now, here comes another storm.   This has really been a very long, long winter.  Spring will be here soon.  Really.

AMAZING GOD

The same God that struck down the tower of Babel
the same God that caused the rain to flood the earth
the same God the destroyed Sodom and Gamorrah
the same God that killed thousands in the wake of Gideon's battle
the same God that parted the Red Sea and closed it again on Pharoah's army
the same God that smote the land of Eygpt with the 7 signs
the same God that turned His head from His only begotten son when He was on the cross
the same God loves us
loves you
and welcomes you into His arms, into His throne room as He sits upon the mercy seat;
This same God of righteous anger is filled with a desire to hear from us;
this same God wants us
and
this same God.......
"I heard from you today......."
This same God loves to hear from us.....
loves to hear us call Him Father
                                               Abba
"He stretched out the heavens and laid foundations of the earth".
 This same God looks for us, calls to us, welcomes us......